We once recorded a podcast on this topic, where we mainly discussed the excesses of feminism and their negative effects on swinging. In that episode, we touched on the “Me Too” movement’s overreach, and how exaggerated or misinterpreted forms of feminism—by both men and women—can affect single men in the swinger scene.
But now, I’d like to look at the other side.
The female side.
From a male perspective, while supporting the core principles of feminism, let’s stay focused on the goals that are most relevant today—and specifically those that connect to the swinger lifestyle. Over the last hundred years, feminism has achieved a lot, but here I’m not talking about issues like equal pay for equal work (which are, of course, equally important).
I hope everyone is familiar with the traditional, fundamental idea of feminism: if something is allowed for a man, it should be allowed for a woman too.
If men are entitled to sexual freedom—if they aren’t judged for how many women they’ve been with, or for living a swinger lifestyle—then women deserve exactly the same freedom.
In fact, swinging could be one of the “most pleasant battlegrounds” for feminism’s goals—though perhaps it’s already a space where feminism has succeeded.
Why? Because in every normal swinger club or party, rules apply equally to everyone. No exceptions—whether you’re a couple, a single man, or a single woman.
Swinging embodies many of feminism’s core values: independence, self-determination, and complete freedom.
Everyone has the right to set their own boundaries—and even to change them from one event to another. Everyone has the right to say no in any uncomfortable situation.
Along with that comes the acceptance of one’s own sexuality, as well as the sexuality of others—without judgment. And that is one of the most important values shared by both swinging and feminism.
In my relationship with Timi, this works beautifully. It gives us a lot, and we try to share it with others as well. There’s no such thing as “this is allowed for me, but not for you.” Nor should there ever be judgment about someone’s desires.
I’m a man, part of a swinger couple where my wife loves multi-male experiences the most. And she has every right to enjoy them, while still setting her own boundaries.
That’s why I support traditional feminism.
If every swinger embraced it, too, the world would be just a little better.